I got so much LOVE from you all last week after I sent that ” LOVE BEAM.”
I want to THANK YOU for opening my emails and giving me high fives, chest bumps and kind words via email. Y’all rock!
Today’s topic is near and dear to my heart ( as per usual!)
You probably don’t know this… but one of my biggest challenges in life for the last 9 years has been talking to new people about what I do. Not new clients, not new business contacts… but just ” regular people” that are curious about all the nuances and details of my career– at dinner parties or at group events over wine… they want to ” get it” and it’s not really that easy to explain!!
So the problem (as I joked with a friend last week) is that my job is actually TOO fascinating, controversial to some, intriguing and begs more questions … and I can end up in LONG “conversation jail” conversations talking about myself when I don’t really want to be, if I let it go that way.
Marie Forleo has posted about this as well… she experienced the same thing when calling herself a ” life coach” earlier in her career.
We all have things we DON’T enjoy discussing that much… for some of it’s work, relationship status… ” when are you going to ________?” Insert whatever it is that feel sensitive to you!
There is, however a cure for ” conversation jail!!” It is called VERBAL KUNG FU!
Verbal Kung Fu means… redirecting the conversation. The key to it is doing it sweetly, authentically and quickly.
It goes like this… Person at party: “ Your job sounds fascinating, who are your clients?” (totally reasonable question! But I don’t really want to/can’t talk about it)
I say: “ I made a promise to myself I wasn’t going to talk about work tonight. Tell me more about what you do! What’s GOOD at work with you?
If they press… I say with a SMILE “I can’t really talk about it… so any cool vacations coming up in your world?”
I want us all to be feeling GOOD and EMPOWERED in our casual ” social” conversations… it takes practice!!
Here are your Power Practices:
1) REMEMBER THIS: *You don’t have to answer every question that you get asked* You can answer whatever you want, and also NOT answer whatever you want. It will go a LOT better if you BREATHE and SMILE and gracefully change the subject. This takes practice… and I am DEFINITELY still working on it:)
2) You can only get stuck in conversation jail by choice! If you don’t like the conversation- change it.
Ask people ” WHAT’S GOOD” This is a very SIMPLE but powerful tool. TRY It! I love it… My friend Louis Alloro does it all the time and it WORKS. If you’re feeling “done” then please my dear, pull the ripcord… take a “ladies room” break and get the HECK out. Lol!
Alright girlfriend, I am sending you the strength to have EMPOWERED CHECK conversations!! You’ve got this:)
Your Love and Happiness Advocate,