Let me tell you a little story about a guy we will call “John.”
Our first date was in the West Village…and he was, in a word… dreamy.
Tall, REALLY handsome, athletic, witty, well dressed… AND he made me feel really special. He listened intently when I spoke to him. We laughed and bonded and he made reference to future dates…even joking around about bringing me home to meet his mom.
His family flew out to the Hamptons every weekend of the summer (yes, flew…on their plane.) And I know that’s far from being important…but (I’ll admit!) it sounded DREAMY!
I left our first date totally high… I felt like I had literally just met Prince Charming.
Yet, there was a VERY big problem (you knew it was coming!)
John seemed SO DERN DREAMY that I was NOT focused on seeing the whole picture of what was going on with him.
I treated him VERY differently than I treated other men.
I went to his neighborhood to meet him every time… and he planned it that way.
I followed up faster. I laughed harder at his jokes. I reached out. I was on pins and needles about how quickly he got back to me. I wanted it to work.
The truth about this guy ultimately, was that he was not showing signs of being a good partner.
He WAS dreamy on a surface level… but he was also VERY inconsistent, self serving, and often inconsiderate.
Things were on HIS terms, and I allowed it because I was SO excited about the idea of him.
I escaped the situation (thankfully!) without a broken heart… and with a decision made. I decided that was the LAST time I was going to get “snowed” by a dreamy exterior without a considerate and generous interior.
I love this PHRASE TO REMEMBER from one of my favorite relationship experts.
“Treat ALL MEN the same.” –Bob Grant
Whether he is McDreamy or Mc “Meh”… treat him the same.
A few Power Practices to help you along the way…
With EVERY guy:
- Decide not to chase.
- Decide to be your best self , while still actually being YOU… Quirks and all.
- Decide that your “type” is kind, generous, consistent and super into YOU!
- Be very IMPRESSED by a man that will go out of his way for you.
And never, EVER forget that YOU are the prize.
Good guys feel best when you know your value and act accordingly.
Sending you strength, clarity and LOVE!
Your Love and Happiness Advocate,